OK, that’s enough, let’s move on

Please, no more about the tea-tape. I don’t care. Just nine days to go – can we drop this obsession with secret tapes and return to discussing real issues in our usual cursory way, rather than not at all.  There are already plenty of public statements and actions from John Key on the dual topics Don Brash’s leadership capabilities and the value of elderly people.  I don’t need to hear any private conversations to make my mind up about whether to vote for him or not.

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Lord Lucan is alive, well, and exerting political influence in New Zealand

Ian Wishart’s Investigate Magazine reports:

Investigate has learned that the 7th Earl of Lucan, Richard John Bingham, did not commit suicide after murdering his children’s nanny, Sandra Rivett, in 1974. Instead, Lucan fled to New Zealand.

Lucan learned that a New Zealander, Donald Thomas Brash, who had in 1961 attained a Masters’ degree in economics with a thesis arguing that foreign investment damaged a country’s economic development and had been working overseas for the World Bank, had returned to New Zealand.  Brash had become General Manager of Broadbank Corporation, a merchant bank.

7th Earl of Lucan - 2011

7th Earl of Lucan - 1974

With his considerable wealth, Lucan was able to undergo plastic surgery to change his appearance and voice training to speak (almost) like a New Zealander.  Then came the masterstroke – Lucan, who by now through his plastic surgery looked almost identical to Donald Thomas Brash, murdered Brash, assumed his identity, and sought to commence a political career in New Zealand.

Lucan, under his assumed identity, unsuccessfully stood for the New Zealand National Party in the East Coast Bays electorate in 1978 and 1981. However, his new life took an upturn in 1982, when he became managing director of the New Zealand Kiwifruit Authority, and in 1986 he became general manager of Trust Bank.

In 1988 Lucan conned New Zealand’s Labour Party into appointing him Governor of the Reserve Bank of New Zealand, a position he held for 14 years.  He re-entered politics under his Donald Thomas Brash identity in 2002, and assumed the National Party’s leadership in 2003.  However, his political ineptitude resulted in him losing the 2005 election which most opinion polls predicted National would win.  Following a sex scandal, Lucan resigned the National Party leadership in 2006.

Lucan is currently attempting a political comeback with a bizarre and confused mix of economic libertarians and social authoritarians in the ACT Party, having murdered ACT’s former Leader, Rodney Hide.

Confidential sources have told Investigate that the body of the real Donald Thomas Brash was weighted with concrete blocks and dumped in Auckland’s Western Springs pond, where it has likely been consumed by eels.

Investigate is also confidentially informed that a young man by the name of David Garrett assisted Lucan in the disposal of the body.

Iwi-Kiwi Ansell goes totally unhinged for ACT

Close Don Brash ally, conspirator in the ACT Party coup, and designer of National’s 2005 “iwi-kiwi” billboards John Ansell has gone totally unhinged.

Here’s one of his racist, misogynist rants at Kiwiblog this afternoon – he must have forgotten it was the 25th anniversary of homosexual law reform or he would have come up with something homophobic as well:

The problem with New Zealand is it’s full of white cowards who are too frightened of being called names to stand up for the truth.

(And that’s just the ACT Party.)

And the truth (if we are honest enough to admit it) is: for the last quarter-century, our country has been brownwashed by a bunch of scammers (aided and abetted by legions of white ‘useful idiots’) into feeling guilty for the supposed sins of our British great-great-grandparents.

A sober reading of the facts reveals that some of these sins were actual (though far less sinful than the crimes perpetrated by Maori on Maori). Many others were highly exaggerated and delivered with lashings of emotional blackmail, for the purposes of extorting compensation.

But of course we are New Zealanders and we are not allowed to tell our truth (as Alasdair Thompson recently found out to his cost).

We are not allowed to speak out about state suffocation, Maorification, feminazism, National socialism, teacher unionism or any of the other evils that are dragging our country into the third world.

Those who do have the guts to tell the truth are called nasty names like racists in the hope that, like snails, one light contact with politically-correct criticism will be enough to make them shrink back into their shells.

And of course it works a treat.

There are plenty of parties for pessimists, backward-looking Maori and white bedwetters. But there’s only one for optimists, achievement-oriented people and forward-looking Maori.

ACT will not succeed until it champions the latter and tells the dishonest others to go to Hell.

In short, their catchment is men and women who think like men. Not men and women who think like women. ACT is the party of the strong father, not the soft mother.

(By strong father I include strong women like Rand, Richardson and Thatcher, and by soft mother I include weak men like Key.)

I hope you people will think about that.

I suspect Ansell had a good bit to do with today’s racist ACT advertisement that the Dom Post refused to run.

Our Nactional Anthem – “Don Brash not quite ready to reveal my campaign” suspended animation version

For those with slow internet, here are the lyrics:

I wanna be a boss
I wanna be a big boss
I wanna boss the world around
I wanna be the biggest boss
that ever bossed the world around

I wanna do it right
I wanna do it right away
I wanna do it right now
I wanna do it right away
I wanna do it now

Don’t wanna be a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet
Don’t want to work for Daddy
In Daddy’s shop, 0.K.

I get confused, so confused
I get a pain, I get a pain up here
In the Shirley Temples

What you gonna do
How you gonna do it
What you gonna do
How you gonna do it

Little by little, ooh ooh
Little by little, bit by bit

Sssh! Not too loud, don’t tell everybody
Don’t give away the game
Oooh, oooh,
I aint quite ready to reveal my campaign

This is not the time
My hero’s are alive and well in a cave
I’m keeping them on ice in suspended animation
Till the very right occasion comes along

To our rally come along
Come along to our rally
Come along to our rally come along

To our rally come along
Come along to our rally
Come along to our rally come along

A Brave new world will rise from the ashes
And there upon a rock titanic, I’ll cast a giant
Shadow on the face of the deep
And never again will they dare to call me
A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed
Weedy little creep!

No more tremblin’ and quakin’ in the gym
No more come on fellas, let’s get him

What you gonna do
How you gonna do it
What you gonna do
How you gonna do it

Little by little, ooh, ooh
Little by little, bit by bit
Little by little, ooh, ooh
Little by little, bit by bit
bit by bit
bit by bit

Everyone’s going to be free
But they’ll have to agree to be free
They’ll have to agree to be less free than me
‘Cos I rule the world you see

So wait for the army of kiddy-winkies
And terrible tiny tots
In armoured school buses
Firing poison pea-shooters
And sinking their milk teeth into your thighs
Delapsus resurgam! when I fall I shall rise!

Wanna be a boss
I wanna be a big boss
I wanna boss the world around
I wanna be the biggest boss
that ever bossed the world around

Pssst: Trying to learn from Bernard Hickey how to do interesting blog posts but destroy them with long boring titles.