Greens welcome Winston on board

Green Co-Leader Dr Russel Norman today welcomed Winston Peters’ decision to join the Green Party, saying it will help the Greens to broaden their voter support base.

“Over four percent of voters at the last election voted for New Zealand First,” Dr Norman said. “I am confident that a large proportion of those voters will now give their support to the Greens. It is an unexpected and very real bonus for us, and may finally give us the chance to break through 10%.

“The Greens have never managed to appeal to the redneck vote,” said Dr Norman. “David Garrett has proven with ACT just how electorally valuable having a drunken bigot among the senior ranks of a political party can be. Winston will now be able to perform a similar role for us.”

The Greens are also considering changing their Constitution so Peters can succeed Jeanette Fitzsimons as Co-Leader when she steps down at the Party’s Annual General Meeting on Queen’s Birthday weekend.

“Having two male Co-Leaders would help dispel the perception that we are too pro-feminist. We’re never going to get the blokes’ votes with that image,” Dr Norman said.

“Of course Winston would be Co-Leader outside Parliament like I was when I was first elected. But he has immense expertise in fundraising and managing electoral donations and already has a strong relationship with the media, so working as Co-Leader outside Parliament should be easier for him than it was for me.”

4 thoughts on “Greens welcome Winston on board

  1. another news story you may be interested in:

    At John Banks’s instruction, the Department of Conservation has begun a new breeding programme for Auks, with a view to reintroducing them to Auckland. When explorer Abel Tasman first sailed into Auckland’s Manukau harbour in 1642, he wrote that ‘I beheld before me a great harbour full of Auks, as far as the eye could see’. The great Auks of Manukau Harbour were extinct by 1900, and nowadays it is clear to no visitor why Tasman named the area Auckk Landt.

    It is believed that the Great Auks of Manukau Harbour were hunted to extinction by the notorious penny farthing gangs of 19th century Sydney, to serve the lucrative black market in feathers for judges’ hats.

    As the Great Auk is now extinct, DOC will have to use crypto-zoological principles to breed a new population of Great Auks to repopulate Auckland. Geneticists have extracted the DNA from eggs of the Newfoundland Lesser Auk, and are aiming to splice in the bigness gene from the colossal squid in Wellington’s Te Papa Tongarewa. Special care must be taken to isolate the bigness gene, so that they do not accidentally add the neighbouring sliminess gene or tentacliness gene.

    The race is on to repopulate the Auckland area with Auks, because the New Zealand Geographic Board has threatened to rename the city if it is not achieved within two years.

  2. hello! The babes are here!

    Toad says: [Remainder of post deleted as spam. You got through the spam filter, but please don’t try this nonsense again or your mail address and IP address will be permanently blocked]

    Oh, and just in case some readers want to send this amateur spammer a message about his annoying activities, his email address (at least for now) is:

  3. Must’ve been generated by all that tangental discussion from the transport post …

    Bad case of ‘be careful what you wish for?’ 🙂

    Nice prank, Toad 🙂

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