Speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes

johnson73art1Stolen, from Leopold, on the Dim Post comments thread (only because it is such good parody of both the Spankers and Lewis Carroll, and because I am a great fan of Carroll):

Oh, don’t bother me,’ said the Duchess; `I never could abide figures!’ And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:

`Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.’
CHORUS: (In which the cook and the baby joined):–
`Wow! wow! wow!’

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:–

`I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!’
CHORUS: `Wow! wow! wow!’

`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!’ the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,’ and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her.

Personally, I have to say I still prefer Grace Slick’s interpretation of Carroll:

Hat tip: The Dim Post

Isn’t the Dim-Post wonderful

Especially this one, following Maurice Williamson’s “What I really meant was…” over National’s road tolling policy.

Senior National Party staff members were in damage control last night after an embarrassing gaffe by yet another MP. National leader John Key now says he was wrong in announcing that small-businesses would be made exempt from KiwiSaver employer donations under a National government. …

Communications manager Kevin Taylor denied that Key had merely revealed publicly what the party was planning to do privately.

‘John is not involved in high level policy discussions so he is not privy to what our policies are on this matter,’ Taylor said. ‘I’m giving the people of New Zealand my personal assurance that John misspoke and that his views do not reflect those of the party.’

Key’s blunder has forced the National Party into a guarantee that it will not interfere with KiwiSaver employee contributions in its first term of government, an announcement that was made by policy adviser Grant Johnston in the wake of Key’s blunder.

‘It is regrettable that statements were made on this issue by someone who is not in the loop and does not set policy,’ Johnston said. ‘Hopefully this should set the record straight.’

Although the polls suggest that Eagleson, Taylor and Johnston are set to triumph in the upcoming election, continued blunders from their MP’s still have the capacity to damage the party. The ongoing problem of MP’s announcing policy remains a constant threat to National’s election prospects.

I suspect the Greens will cop Danyl’s satirical barbs from time to time too, but hopefully won’t do anything as embarassing as the sequence of feet that are being inserted into National MP’s mouths.