The short and incredibly happy life of Tolley

Tolley was born happy. She had a mother and father, and they had lots and lots of money. They loved each other, and they had lots and lots and lots of money.

Tolley was warm and cozy in whichever of her many houses she chose to live in. What more could she want?

Tolley loved the simple things in life. She loved to ride in helicopters. When she had an itch on her back, all Tolley would want was someone to scratch her back for her. She never wanted to be someplace other than up in a helicopter.

Tolley was never bothered with the problems workers have because she had lots and lots and lots of money. When she looked in a mirror all she saw was what she was. Tolley fell in love with money and power and became a National Party MP.

She was the most perfect and happy Tolley when the nice Mr Key made her Minister of Education.

She could ride in helicopters whenever she chose. She could cut Enviroschools and community education classes and school staffing levels and freeze wages and draw up league tables and read children’s stories to teachers.  She was the most perfect and happy Tolley.

She could ride in helicopters whenever she chose and the nice Mr Key would still be relaxed.

Sadly enough, the political life of a Minister of Education is short, and especially so when she is thick and incompetent.

[With apologies to Colin Thompson and Amy Lissiat]

Update: Roger Waters beat me to it – by over 30 years:


8 thoughts on “The short and incredibly happy life of Tolley

  1. Lighten up Gerrit – it does have a humour tag.

    And you have to admit that reading a children’s book about being happy with little to a PPTA Executive meeting is a pretty dumb thing for the Minister of Education to do.

  2. And you have to admit that reading a children’s book about being happy with little to a PPTA Executive meeting is a pretty dumb thing for the Minister of Education to do.

    Not really, just a very subtle rerminder to PPTA’s that the funding they have enjoyed will be cut due to a lowered tax take and a need to repay borrowing plus to

    The money taken from the budget was being used to fund tertiary education for younger people.

    I thought it very clever from the minister.

  3. Clever? Since when was it clever to say you’re removing funding by reading a story about a rat who’s happy despite having nothing? And then deny that’s what she was doing?

    Because if you’re right, and it was a clever little move, then from what she actually said she was trying to do later on, then it transpires Tolley is also a fucking liar.

    So which is it? Is Tolley a lying cow, or are you woefully bad at interpreting a minister’s actions?

  4. Chris,

    Do you have an anger mangement problem?

    No one (especially a women) deserves to be called a “cow”. Nor a “fnck” liar. Liar, yes if you disagree with her but not a “fnck” one.

    Come on Anarkatie, come to the defence of women from Chris’s virilant attack.

    The minister is doing her job, part of which is to prepare her ministry for the the ineffitable funding cuts that WILL absolutely happen in the New Zelaand economy.

    An economy based on borrowing $50M per day at 5.5% percent and negative cashflow for at least 10 years.

  5. While Chris makes a point I agree with, I don’t consider misogynist language acceptable either, Gerrit.

    “Lying cow” crosses the line by me. I don’t have a problem with “fucking liar”.

    So please be a bit more careful Chris. We try to leave as unmoderated as possible. Please respect that by avoiding sexism (or racism or homophobia, for that matter). Otherwise the rules here might change – we don’t want to be like Whaleoil.

  6. Sorry, Gerrit & Toad –
    been moving house – slow corner –

    Actually, I agree with both the post, and Chris’s point; frankly, I’ve called Tolley worse when discussing Tertiary funding with groups of students on campus, including representatives of the AUSA, the body which represents university staff (like, tutors & lecturers).

    I probably wouldn’t use ‘lying cow’, simply ‘cos I grew up on a farm, and cows are rather nice in small doses & I’ve never met a cow who lied; dairy farmers who lie, yes, but not their livestock.

    Education in our secondary and tertiary institutions is beginning to look like a return to ’30’s funding – close the Teachers’ Colleges, send the children home, and ride out the Depression, sorry ‘Recession’, with education becoming a luxury product only the rich can buy.

    Pull the other one, we developed Education Policy in the 40’s and 50’s so that those events would never occur again – why would anyone be so venal as to take education away from a generation, simply to get tax rebates to bolster their already over-consuming lifestyle?

    If you really want to improve your cashflow, stop using credit cards to buy groceries – the interest on those common financial instruments is ridiculously high, yet many ‘mainstream’ families consider it commonplace now to buy their weekly food bill on credit, to get more ‘fly buys’ points – a complete con by the banks to get more income out of household spending.

    Don’t penalise the education system because your sloppy spending habits can’t be met in the present financial climate, which I hasten to add, was not created by parsimonious lower socio-economic group behaviour, but by high-fliers in the financial markets who gambled with OPM.*

    [*Other People’s Money]

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